Long time no blog… December 6, 2009

So… it’s been some time since I’ve posted anything. I thought I’d give a brief update of what’s been going on the past few days. Here it is… the big update…

WE’RE ALL SICK!

Sickness completely sucks. I hate this time of the year for no other reason than sickness. This is the time of the year that me and my girls get sick– every year. On top of the regular sickness we are experiencing I’m battling some kind of wound that’s in the middle of my chest.

Chest Wound

I finally went to the doctor about it the other day b/c I thought it was a spider bite. Now, I’m not so sure and neither is the doctor. Anyway, he tried to do a procedure in the office. He wanted to lance it and drain the infection. Doing that would have given me some pain relief and allowed him to obtain a culture as well. When he went to lance it (btw… no anesthetic was used!!!!!!!) it was hard and wouldn’t drain. He stuck me another 3 times trying to get something, anything out of it. And then… he pushed on it with his hands (OUCH!!!). I couldn’t take it anymore and finally let out a scream (I was already crying at this point). He finally stopped and said that he couldn’t cause me anymore pain (THANK YOU!). So, he wrote me two scripts- an antibiotic and a pain med- to take for the next 10 days. Well, I found out rather quickly that I cannot take the pain meds (Lortab). It caused me to itch uncontrollably, my face swelled up and turned red, and then I couldn’t swallow. Talk about freaking out!! Thanks to some wonderful friends I have that go to my church who work in the ER I was able to get it under control in just a few short mins. Sadly, I’m still in a great deal of pain and the antibiotic doesn’t seem to be working as of yet. I’m supposed to go back to the doctor this week if it’s not healing. He wants to try and lance it again and see if it will drain once more. If he has no luck, then my only other option is surgery. His exact words were, if it doesn’t heal “[he'll] have to go in and cut it all out.” (ugh! seriously?!)

So, when you think about it, say a prayer for Lulu, CNL, and for me. We need to get well!!!!

Happy Turkey Day November 25, 2009

Well, once again it’s the time of the year when we remember the people and things we are thankful for. It’s kind of sad that we only do this once a year. We should alwasy remind the people we love how much we are thankful for them. Whether its a husband, wife, mother, father, brother and sister, or just a really great friend… tell them more than one time year why you are thankful for them.

Other than Christmas, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. I love to cook, so it would stand to reason that this holiday is way up at the top of the list. However, this year I’m not cooking much. As a matter of fact, I’m baking one cake. That’s it. It’s our first real holiday without the ex and I’m not exactly sure if I want to just skip it all together or what, but cooking is not on my list of things to do. I am determined to be thankful no matter what though! I was talking with a friend the other night and reminded him of the blessings he had in his life. I began to feel a little sad. However, the more I thought about it, I began to realize that I have so much to be thankful for.

These past 5-1/2 months have been a whirlwind of emotion– some good, some bad. But, in the midst of it all I still have so much to be thankful for. So, I’ve come up with a list. Here’s what I’m thankful for:

• My children- I am blessed with 2 of the greatest kids in the entire world! They genuinely care about others and they love with a deep and intense love.
• My family- I am blessed to have parents who care about me enough to allow me and my children to move in with them until I can get on my feet. They have been very accommodating and understanding. They love us unconditionally.
• My friends- I cannot begin to express my gratitude for my closest friends. These women and men have been tremendously helpful in helping me move through this transition time in my life. Most of them have laughed with me, cried with me, and a couple of them even helped me move out. They have offered words of wisdom and have listened when I needed someone to talk to. God blessed me with them and I am deeply thankful for them.
• My church- Crosspoint has been one of the biggest blessings in my life over the past 2 years. I am so thankful for God bringing me to them. I have learned a lot about God and myself over the past 2 years.
• My ex- Yes, I am thankful for him. Even though this has been a really tough experience for all of us I am still thankful for him. I am thankful for our time together and for the children we had. I am also thankful that we are able to be amicable with one another.
• I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus. I am so glad that He loved me enough to give His life for me! His love for me is beyond words.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Where is God when tragedy strikes? (Still trusting even when it’s hard) November 21, 2009

There’s a question that I’ve heard throughout my lifetime and it’s one that I’ve even uttered in my deepest despair:

Where are you God?

Tragedies will happen and sometimes (more often than you think) bad things happen to good people. The good guy doesn’t always win in the end and sometimes (more often than I care to think about) the bad guys prosper. Why??? Does God not care anymore? Have we gotten to be so immoral/amoral that God has thrown us by the wayside, leaving us to our own demise and not caring to intervene in our lives? Just a few short months ago I was asking (more like shouting) that question. However, I have recently re-learned something that, truthfully, was no surprise to me. It was something that I knew all along but had to be shown again in order for it to sink in.

When most people (Christians especially) think about God, they think of a good, kind, loving deity. One who provides what we need. One who paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we might spend eternity with Him in heaven. But it’s these same people who, when tragedy strikes, begin to doubt his existence. I know I went through my own period of doubting. I never doubted his existence, but I did doubt that He cared about me. I thought He had left me- tossed me aside like an old worn out ragdoll whose hair is all matted and she’s covered with stains and she might even be losing her stuffing (how’s that for a pretty picture?). So, where was God during the biggest storm in my life (to date, that is)?

He was right there in the middle of it with me.

Just because you are a Christ follower does not mean that storms/tragedies/hard times will not come your way. As a matter of fact, the complete opposite is true. Read these words: “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil… Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm (Ephesians 6:11 & 13 NLT). Every person who comes into a relationship with Jesus Christ is fair game to Satan. Does this mean every storm/tragedy/hard time in your life is an attack from Satan? No, of course not. We make our own choices and sometimes they are the wrong ones.

Christians screw up too. We’re imperfect people living under the grace of Jesus Christ. I can’t speak for everyone, but I will be honest and say I’ve had my moments of doubt. I didn’t doubt that God existed (well, there was this one time in college… it was just a stupid phase though), but I did doubt that He was with me. I thought He had given up on me because I had committed a “big sin” of divorce. (BTW- there are no big or little sins. WE put varying degrees to sin. GOD says sin is sin… no matter what it is). This divorce was not something that I wanted. I thought I was setting my ex free. He didn’t want to be with me and it didn’t matter what I said or did (of course, waiting was out of the question… being supportive and helping him find answers was just too much… but those are thoughts for another post on a different day). I cried out to God daily… several times a day, Why God? Why are you allowing this to happen to me? to my children? Don’t you see my heart is breaking? Am I such a bad person now that You don’t want anything to do with me? Help me Jesus! Put my life back together God! What am I going to do without him? I can’t take it God. Take my life, please. I can’t handle this kind of pain! Where are you God??? Can’t you hear me??? Why are you allowing your child to suffer like this? (oh, the drama!)

If you’ve read my earlier posts, you know there was a moment where I truly thought reconciliation was going to happen. I was overjoyed! I thought God had finally heard my cries for help and had come to His senses and was going to give me what I was asking for. Then, another devastating blow. Within just a few short hours, “he” had decided against working things out. Oh, my gosh. I thought God was just getting a big kick out of watching me suffer. I thought He was thinking that I wasn’t worth the trouble or the effort. Good grief… can you see how clouded my thought process was? I was so consumed with my own pain and suffering and so focused on me, me, me that I wouldn’t have heard God if He shouted down from heaven and told me to put the SHUT to the UP! SHUT to the UP.

As I was reading I was reminded that God was there. I can remember asking Dave, our pastor, where God had disappeared to at one point. He very kindly reminded me that He was still there and that His silence did not mean He was absent from my life. I didn’t believe him at the time. However, hindsight is always 20/20. One of my fatal flaws was not committing enough scripture to memory so that I could call on it when I was in such despair. For example, Hebrews 13:5 says, “[God] will never leave you, nor forsake you (NKJV).” I had been told that all of my life, from the time I was a child. Where did that promise go during my darkest night? Nowhere! It was still my promise to claim, I just had to put my trust in Him and in that promise. Also, in Matthew 28:20(b) Jesus says, “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (NLT). ALWAYS! Jesus is with me, ALWAYS. I’m never alone!

So… here’s what hit me like a Mack truck: God never said we wouldn’t experience pain or suffering on this Earth. But He did say that He would be with us- through it all! He said He would NEVER LEAVE us.  It’s through the pain that we are drawn closer to Him and we are refined in such a way that we become more like Him. I had to go through the process of refinement first so that my heart would be prepared and I would be receptive to what God wanted to do in my life. Here’s what a dear friend of mine had to say about his own experience:

I thought God had left me and blessed my ex-wife. She wasn’t in the pain I was, or the situation with money, or hungry, or sleepless like I was. I wondered why God blessed her more than me, I WASN’T THE ONE WHO CHEATED!!!! I had no idea where God decided to go during that time in my life…But it felt like it wasn’t with me. Now, I know better. I know God was tearing me down to build me back up.

God was taking this opportunity to rebuild this man. He needed to broken in order for to God to put him back together the way He intended for him to be. God had not left him; He was just busy creating a new life and a new heart with a renewed focus on Him- our Creator. Here’s another example of the process… in very plain and simple terms:

Dismantle/ Repair/ Repeat

You may have heard the phrase, hurting people hurt people. Well, I think it can also be said that God uses broken people to help other broken people. Personally speaking, if it had not been for people who so willingly shared their stories of disappointment, pain, and grief with me I would have felt like I was this horrible person who had lost her way. I believe God uses us best in our brokenness because it is at these times when He can be glorified the most.

So, how do we find ourselves back on the road to fully trusting God can and will handle anything that life has to throw at us? By studying the Scriptures. There are so many promises God has for us in His Word. We really must spend time everyday in it. Spending time in prayer and asking God for guidance and wisdom will also help. But, it’s not just about asking for His help… it’s about taking the time to LISTEN to what He has to say to you. Committing to memeory the verses that deal with whatever situation you are going through will also help. For me the following verses will be committed to memory.

Hebrews 13:5- I will never leave you nor forsake you.

 Matthew 28:20b- And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Isaiah 12:2- Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation

Isaiah 26:4- Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.

Psalm 22:8- He trusts in the Lord; let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.

Psalm 40:4- Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods

Psalm 118:8- It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

Proverbs 3:5- Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Jeremiah 17:7- But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

A Few Words on Fogiveness… November 19, 2009

I’ve been able to do much more reading these days. It took me 2 days to complete my latest book. And, after finishing it, I will say that it is DEFINITELY one of thos books that will be read and re-read again and again. The book is called A New Kind of Normal: Hope-filled choices when life turns upside down, by Carol Kent. It’s an amazing book about her journey and many other womens’ journies along the path of forgiveness. Here are some of the major things that I have learned from this short, yet powerful, book.

#1. Forgiveness is a process…

Have you ever noticed when someone near to you says, “I’m sorry,” even though you KNOW they mean it, it doesn’t take the pain or hurt away immediately? As a matter of fact, if you are really honest with yourself, there may have been times when that hurt feeling came back just because you saw that person again. It takes time to get over it. Just because you forgive someone does not mean that you forget what happened and how it made you feel.

“Forgiveness usually isn’t a one-time experience. It’s an ongoing process. You have to work at it.” (Elisa Morgan)

 

#2. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what happened…

If you were hurt by someone you loved because he or she was unfaithful to you in your marriage and you chose to forgive them… it DOES NOT MEAN YOU CONDONE OR APPROVE OF HIS/HER BEHAVIOR! Just because you choose to offer him or her forgiveness does not mean that you approve of what happened. It does mean that you are making a conscious choice to life a Christ-like life and offer someone who may have hurt you so deeply another opporunity to live in love.

 

#3. Forgiveness is for you too…

When you truly forgive someone, there is a transformation that takes place inside of you as well.  It means that you are letting go of the hurt, the pain, the trauma of what happened. You are literally setting yourself free when you forgive the other person.

 

#4. Forgiveness may not fix the problem…

Just because you forgive another person for hurting you does not mean that everything will be just peachy afterwards. For example, if you forgive your spouse for wronging you, or vice versa, it doesn’t mean that your marriage will be reconciled.

 

#5. Forgiveness is a choice…

ALWAYS.

 

#6. Forgiveness does not change what happened…

Instead, it changes what will happen in the future.

 

#7. True forgiveness…

When you really, genuinely forgive someone you will no longer hold resentment towards him or her.

 

#8. What forgiveness is…

“Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me.” (Archibald Hart)

 

Jesus showed us what real forgiveness is. He paid the ultimate price for us when He chose to die on the cross for us. While he was hanging on the cross, beaten beyond recognition, bones broken, and in agony He still thought of others.

“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34 NLT)

 

Crosspoint November 18, 2009

I have the privilege and pleasure to be a part of an amazing movement of God at my local church. God opened the door for me 2 years ago when a young man, who is now a great friend of mine, knocked on my door with a business card and invited me to a church that was doing something no other church around here had done before. They were meeting in a movie theater. A movie theater? Seriously? This must be some kind of crazy church. These were all thoughts that ran through my head while this guy was talking. But, for some reason I thought… why not? So, the first Sunday they met in the movie theater… I went and I’ve been going ever since.

It didn’t take me too long to realize that, much like their “business card” stated, they were “Rated D for Different” (catchy, huh? lol). This guy who was preaching was spot on! He had it figured out… church was not just a place for Christ followers to come and worship. Oh, no! It was SO MUCH MORE. This crazy wonderful group of people started a church for… get this… people who don’t like church!??! What an amazing idea! Do you have any idea how many people are turned off by organized religion and the rules it imposes upon them? Do you have any idea what it feels like to walk into a church, where you know absolutely no one, and no one (not even the greeter) speaks to you? I know what that feels like.

Before visiting Crosspoint, I visited several other churches in town. One experience in particular stands out as a constant reminder of why I didn’t like most churches. I visited this church one Sunday- it’s an older church. It’s been around as long as I can remember. Well, at the time I was married and had just given birth to our first child, CNL. My ex-husband worked a rotating shift and was not able to visit with me this particular Sunday(not that he would have… he was pretty jaded by organized religion, or “the church” as well). So, I have my beautiful daughter with me. She’s still small enough that she’s in one of the carriers that you can take in and our of your car. We walk in and- since I know no one, I trust no on- I bring her into the sanctuary with me in her carrier. We sit down on the next to the last row in the very back and wait for church to begin. While I’m sitting there with CNL… no one comes up to say “Hi,” “Welcome to our church,” “We’re so glad your here.” I get nothing. AND to top it off… NO ONE sits on the same row as me. WTH?? Did I stink? Did I not have on the right attire? Did they think I was a “sinner” and had a baby without being married? Well, I KNOW it wasn’t the first one… (I took a shower that morning, duh!). I’m sure there were many reasons why… some I never would even imagine… no one took an interest in me that Sunday. But, PRAISE JESUS-AH! (inside joke… sorry. LOL) I found Crosspoint.

Crosspoint is an amazing church that is reaching people like you would not believe! God is doing something amazing in our little town in north Alabama. In an country where most churches are either stagnant or on their way out… we are growing like crazy! We pride ourselves on being a church that will accept anyone. After all, that’s what THE church is all about- reaching people who are lost and hurting and bringing them in, showing them God’s love, and offering them hope and salvation in Christ Jesus. And little ol’ me… I get the pleasure and priviledge of serving in one of the greatest ministries Crosspoint offers- FUSION!

Each Sunday I, along with this wondeful lady and LOTS of other volunteers get to teach kids about Jesus, His love for them, and how to fuse their lives with God’s plan for them. Fusion is much more than what you may think of when I mention the words “Sunday School.” I’m sure, if you’ve ever been in any kind of church when you were a kid, those two words bring up flashes of flannal boards, with little boys dressed in suit pants, button-down dress shirts, and their best Sunday shoes and little girls wearing their frilliest dresses along with stockings, gloves, and matching hat and shoes. Now, I am NOT saying that this image is wrong!!! Please do not think I am condemning what another church is doing. But, what I am saying… is FUSION is not what Sunday School used to be! We have our own stage, 2 flat screen TVs, Wiis, and awesome music! We really engage the kids by using the culture we live in while presenting a story from the bible to them AND then we show them how they can apply it to their own lives! We sing, dance, play, and pray! We actually had about 1/3 – 1/2 of our baptism service filled with children who had made the decision to invite Jesus into their hearts! I absolutely LOVE serving my church.

If you ever get the chance, check us out. Our services are available online here.  You can even watch us on your iPhone!

So, let me ask you. Do you know Jesus loves you? Do you know that HE died for YOU and desperately WANTS to have a relationship with YOU? Yes, YOU. Are you seraching for something? Do you feel like your life is missing something? Do you know that you could spend eternity partying in Heaven with Him? All it takes is admitting that you’ve messed up. You’re not perfect; you’ve sinned, but you want to change. Tell God what you’ve done wrong– ask Him to forgive you… (He will, I promise!). Invite Him to come into your life, to change you, to be your Savior, and commit to serve only Him. If you do this, your circumstances in life may not change over night. But, if you commit to Him and He will NEVER leave you. I can promise you that. Get in touch with your local church (or get in touch with Crosspoint) and start getting involved in learning about what God’s promises are for YOU.

A Peek Inside My World… November 17, 2009

I am definitely not a photographer. Thankfully my friend Amber at AmberNichole Photography is an AMAZING one. I wanted share a little bit of my world with you because Amber created such beautiful portraits of my amazing girls.

 

 

I may have many regrets in my lifetime… but these two are definitely not one of them. To date, and possibly until the day I die, these two precious little girls are the best accomplishment that I have or will have achieved- bar none- in my entire life. They bring me joy and sadness, laughter and tears, happiness and sorrow all rolled into one magnificent adventure. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for them as they live out the own adventures in daily living!

To date or not to date… that is the question. November 14, 2009

So, all of this talk about relationships at church has me thinking about… well, relationships. More specifically, it’s got me thinking about dating. Am I really ready for that? I am really ready to put myself out there and subject myself to more hurt, humiliation, and possibly pain? I think… NOT. It’s a terrifying prospect to me. I spent the last 10 years with the same person… a lot has changed- in the world AND in me.

I’ve wondered what it would be like to spend time with someone– a grown up (LOL!)– talking about things that are important to me and just creating a new relationship. But, there is this thought in the back of my mind that keeps creeping forward.  I think I had my chance at love and blew it. Do I really deserve another chance? Seriously. I thought I had the love of my lifetime… what in the world would make me think that there was another someone out there for me? I know there are people who have found love again (I’m very good friends with a few people who have been through that). But, I don’t think that’s normal. I think they might be the “lucky ones” who were blessed with a second chance. I don’t know why, but I don’t think everyone gets a second chance at love.

According to psychologists/divorce counselors, for every 4 years of marriage it takes one year to recover- emotionally speaking. So, do the math… 10 years of marriage = 2.5 years of recovery time. How they came up with that I do not know. I do know that for me, and probably for most other people going through divorce, definitely the first year should be off limits. The first year should be spent focused on recovering your heart and emotions. I am alomst 6 months out and I am still riding the emotional roller coaster. I still have multiple days in a row of deep sadness and longing. There are some really good days that follow but I always know when the descent is coming. I have friends who tell me that one day I’m just going to wake up and feel normal, be happy again. I know I would like to believe that, but at this point I’m not so sure. I do know that it’s impossible to build a real relationship with someone when you are still longing for restoration in another one. Getting involved with someone else- even just simply going out on a first date- would not be fair to the other person because I would not be able to be genuine.

 Healing takes time; it doesn’t just happen over night (although, wouldn’t that be GRAND?!? It would be great if I could just have my memory wiped and start over again!). So, for now dating is… off limits.

Love is a verb, a choice, and the greatest! November 8, 2009

So, we started a new series at church called “Making Love… Last” and I’m already thinking… good grief. The first “episode” of this installment was last Sunday. Dave preached on 1 Corinthians 13: 1-7. It was like a HUGE slap right in the face. In case you don’t have a bible, or if you don’t know what 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 says, here it is:

Love Is the Greatest

“1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
  4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Of course, when my ex and I got married our wedding vows were centered around this chapter in the bible. I never thought it would come back to smack me in the face. But… it did. I think I cried through the entire service. It was a huge reality check for me. Not just because my ex chose not to love me anymore, but because I chose to give up on love too.

Read that last verse one more time… “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” We, he AND I both, gave up on our marriage. I ran away and retreated into my safe zone– away from him and ultimately from the world. I lost my faith and hope in him and in our marriage. I lost the will to endure the trial that was placed before me. I didn’t do a very good job at choosing love, did I? I placed a great deal of blame on my ex for our marriage ending. And ultimately, it was his choice; however, I also chose to walk away. I honestly did not know how to fight for him or if he was even worth fighting for… until it was too late. I remember thinking, why would I fight for someone who is 1.) ashamed of me, 2.) obviously doesn’t care about me, 3.) is so selfish and self-centered that he doesn’t care about how his actions affects the people around him?  Why would I put myself through that? Why would I put my children through that? But, biblically speaking… I was wrong. Yes, he was wrong too. But, I’m just as guilty as he is. I had to ask for his forgiveness. I gave him my forgiveness willingly– he never even asked. I made mistakes too. I wasn’t perfect. Sure wish I was though.

Love is a Verb… it is an action. A person can say, “I love you” all day long but if there’s no action behind those words (or the wrong kind of action, i.e., abuse, manipulation,etc…) they mean nothing. Sometimes in marriages, “I love you” is tossed around without consideration. Sadly, sometimes it is used for manipulation. Also, it is sometimes said in a passionate moment between a husband and a wife.  For me, saying “I love you” is not something that I take lightly. I use those words with caution and with care because I KNOW the weight they carry. It is a phrase that, to me, is deeply rooted in my soul and spirit. There are many ways to show love without ever having to say the words. Doing a kind deed for someone is a way to show love. For example, in a marriage, a spouse may show his or her love by putting away the laundry instead of piling it up on the couch, floor, or bed. Another spouse may choose to make arrangements for childcare so that the couple can spend time along together. Honestly, the actions to show your spouse love are limited only by your unwillingness to do something. You see the picture I’m painting here? It’s not just about what you say… it’s about what you do as well. Love is a verb… action must be put behind those words each every day.

Love is not just an action though. When you get right down to it… love is a choice. Everday when we awake we have a choice to make. We can either choose to love or choose not to love. We do have free will. But, for the Christ follower, we are commanded to show the love of Jesus to others. We are to love our enemies. How easy is it to love someone when you already know they love you? Where’s the challenge in that? There is none. The challenge comes in consciously choosing to love someone even when they don’t care about you… much less love you. Jesus was a great example in this area. He showed us the ultimate form of unselfish and unconditoinal love when he chose to die on the cross for us. He knew that people would reject him, make fun of him, persecute him, and even kill him. But, His sacrificial love for us provided the greatest gift of all- eternal life- if we choose to believe. God’s love for us is amazing. Even though we fall short every single day and let Him down in ways that are too numerous to mention… He NEVER stops loving us. How many times can you say that your love for someone else is completely and totally unconditional? How many times can you say the following:

(my name here) is patient and kind?

 (my name here) is not jealous?

 (my name here) is not boastful?

 (my name here ) is not proud?

(my name here) doesn’t demand his/her own way?

 (my name here) is not irritable?

(my name here) keeps NO record of being wronged?

(my name here) does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whe the truth wins out?

(my name here) never gives up?

(my name here) never loses faith?

(my name here) is always hopeful?

(my name here) never fails?

I know that when I take the word love out and replace it with my name it never works out the way I would like for it to. As a matter of fact, when Dave had us do this in church- OUT LOUD- when we got to the end, my final statement ended up being, “Heather ALWAYS fails.” Freudian slip? Possibly. Truthful statement? Yes, I think so where this is concerned. I do feel that I come up short in more ways than not when it comes showing unconditional love. But… there is hope. I do strive to be more like Christ every day. I want to be the example of Christ’s love for the people that I come into contact with every day.

Love… it’s a verb, it’s a choice, and it’s the greatest! I know what my choice is. What will you choose?

Happy Halloween! November 2, 2009

Well, it’s late… but

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I’ve decided to upload some pics of my girls… dressed as cheerleaders. Bless their hearts. They almost froze but they had a great time. And yes… their dad went trick-or-treating with them.

Future Captain of the Cheerleading Squad!

 

Little Diva

 

Hope you all had a great holiday!

It’s official… October 15, 2009

As of today, @ 11:15am, I am officially divorced. It’s finally over… at least the legal part of it is.

Wish I could say the same for the healing of my heart.

Time for champaigne and cake.